19th May.

Remembering all the good memories.

I wish you everything but the very best. 

That day. That chaotic and beautiful day.

 Sweetheart, remember that day? February 18th. I still remember, like yesterday. You wanted to go there so much. You looked like an angel in your pink dress. Your mom made it for you. You got late, but you weren't worried. Something gave me chest pain too. Anyway, that was the day we broke our real silence. I think I expressed myself to you. And we got in my friend's car and went home. I even came closer to your house. So, the time passed this way. Finally, I was the one to hurt you. I was rude. I know. There are no excuses. You had to move on. I distanced myself like a rude guy. I suffered from seeing you suffer. But finally, it's all my fault. Anyway, I'm glad to hear about your life. I get some updates sometimes. I feel happy for you, sweetheart. Time went by like an express. I remember you a lot. Sometimes I still visit Torrington and sit at the place where we used to sit. I miss you. Nothing is ever forgotten. Tc. 

December 20th 2023.

 I know, and I got to know, that you are nowhere closer to me at the moment. But I know that you are there, spending your time happily. I recently saw that there is nothing about me that has a good memory (no doubt.). The time we spent together was a fairy tale. Now I know that you haven't the smallest possible memory of me. I will not forget you, though. I will stay silent. I still have my feelings, which definitely have no value to you. Remember the place where we met for the first time? I went there again today. I spent some time alone. I drank a coffee and thought about the time we passed together. Remember the place where we were sitting before Torrington Park? I went there too. I have a lot of beloved memories of you, sweetheart. I feel happy for you. I feel happy to see you smiling. I miss you a lot. I wish you everything but the very best. Forever yours. Tc

19th Of May.

A lot of memories. I remembered you. (since morning) . I hope you are fine. I'm keeping my silence because I respect you and love you. I know none of these words make any sense. Yes, indeed. I was wrong and I have no right to use these words. I'm kind of frozen in time and stuck in a moment which never passes. Anyway, I always wish you success, wealth and happiness, Baba. I wish you a long and joyful life. I wish you many joyful moments. May you be healthy. May your family be healthy and a joyful one. I miss you. I did something good for you today. I will post a picture maybe later though. Happy birthday sweetheart. See you. 

20th of December. One December.

 20th December. A sad day sweetheart. I had no intentions of hurting you. Still, I think of you most of the time. I feel terrible about the way you got hurt for loving me. I still love you as the first day. Or even more. I know that you moved on. We have our memories. I have our memories in my mind. I will live inside those memories till the end. I know that you are happy. That's good. I don't demand you to recall all the bad memories about me and the way I hurt you. Am I totally forgotten? I'm no good. I know that. Didn't I have good qualities, Baba? I feel how terrible I was. Anyway, time has passed. I'm writing because I still remember you (I don't want to forget you) . I'm writing because I will never forget you. I feel like I'm still living somewhere in your memories (I know those memories are dark). I still believe that we belong to each other. Yea, you will say "Nonsense!".  Maybe not this time. I don't know what's happening, Baba. I know that I loved you. And I still do. Also, I messed up things. I hope you are fine. I wish you everything but the best. May you be healthy and happy. May you enjoy the laughter of children. May your family be a joyful one. May your parents live long (Give my regards to auntie Ashoka.). Time is a machine. Take care sweetheart. I still love you. You can't stop me from loving you. I will remain on this side. I'm keeping my silence because I don't want to hurt you again. I never tried to reach you or come closer because I'm nothing but a huge pain. Anyway, the final thing, I do love you. I will find you someday Baba. Stay safe. Stay strong! I rarely write or come to the web because it hurts me a lot. That's fine. Take care. I did few good things today.

I will write again. 

HBD.

 It was a Jasmine plant. I wish you everything but the best sweetheart. Take care.

Happy birthday! (19th of May 2022)

A rainy morning. As usual, my alarm rang around 5am. I didn't receive a "Good morning" message though. This is my routine now. There are a lot of things to celebrate today. Everything is about you sweetheart. I don't know how to keep my heart silent. My heart sings your name in various ways. I'm writing this around 6.40am. If I'm correct, you are waiting to take the bus. 

I never wanted to say goodbye. I know that I was the wrong person. My behaviour wasn't good. Anyway, I have to say that I genuinely loved you. Loved you like a mad person. And I still love you. Time passes so fast. Today is 19th of May. I haven't forgotten. I will silently celebrate your day. I wish I could come and hug you and tell you how much I love you. Go for a walk in Thorrington. Take lunch with you. Watch a movie and take you back home. 

You have different responsibilities and things to worry about. So I will not urge you to do things/demand things. You have to celebrate this day with someone else. I will never come forward and hurt you again sweetheart. Instead I will remain silent and listen to this silence. Don't forget all the good memories that are still with me. So.... A few final words. I left FB. I don't go there frequently. 

I have bought a plant. Today I will plant it. For the past few years, I have planted numerous plants on special days in our lives (Our story). 

I wish you a happy birthday sweetheart. I wish you everything but the best (Much happiness, many smiles, many children and endless joy and, finally, health). 

I miss you so much. I wish I could see you once more. I definitely don't want to bring the old memories back to you and hurt you once more. So, I will keep my distance. Stay safe sweetheart. Take care of yourself. I will write again.