27th September 2019

Im writing in the evening today. Time is 4.41pm. I think you are on your way home. Remember how we went to Maxmara after work? You bought a T shirt for me there I guess. I misss those times a lot. Reason I was late to write today is the stress which Im going through. I dont know how to describe it. Wish me good luck sweetheart. My heart loves you. Its a friday too. Baba remember the times when I ran to you in fridays? Remember the days which I gave a ride to you?Remember how did I pick-up you after the work? You were waiting for me there. Time passed quickly. Sweetheart im loving you forever. Im the worst person you have ever met. Im a crappy person. I have love in my heart though. I miss you a lot. Please be safe. 

26th September 2019.

I think you are in the office shuttle. I wish I could give a ride to you. Drop you at the workplace. Kiss your forehead and say I love you. Remember how you kissed my forehead and inturn I kissed your forehead when we left each other for home? I still remember the sweet feeling. I loved to feel your fragrance too. I hope non of those things are further remembered. For not remembering I cant blame you sweetheart. Because all the faults are with me. I was the wrong guy. I was the notorious partners. Im the villain of love. I dont care how bad I am. But I have to say that I love you a lot. I loved you a lot. Time will be passed. We would be so different, but I will keep all the love to you untouched. I always feel something inside of me is missing.  I miss you a lot. Take care.

25th September 2019. 2nd post.

Writing for the second time again. I remember you a lot. Rains started here. Remember we were talking? Remember when I was studying at workplace? We were chatting till late night. I was studying in an office room. I miss you a lot Baba. I know im not a memory now. Im not a person to you now. Take care. I love you.

25th of September 2019

Sweetheart I remembered you as usual. Started to wrtie this around 6.40am. Probably you were leaving home for work. I was a little late to publish this because im on a 24 hour duty since yesterday. Remember my duties? Sweetheart we were talking and chatting with each other till 1.00am somedays. I hope you have forgotten those times. How can I forget them? Since that was the best time of my life. I dont have a will to forget and proceed Baba. I dont want to forget you. I have pain because I sttill love you. If I was the kind of usual person without a gratitude, I would not go through this pain. Instead I feel devoted to you yet. I feel humble for your love. I feel the warmth you have given to me. I felt love a lot. I did my best to love you. I tried to Keep you with me forever. I never knew Im this much corrupted, corroded and damaged as a person. My moves are beyond tolerable and acceptable. I know and I agree. Since I have messed up all the way, I was helpless. I loved you beyond my limits. I tried my best trust me.  Then now I dont feel a comfort in living either. I dont know how should I proceed. I will keep my love to you forever. I miss you. 

24th September 2019

24th. Time is a machine. So fast. Sweetheart I have a Seepalika tree at the work place. In 2017 I remember when I come out felt a pleasant fragrance. Never paid an adequate attention to the fragrance because we were chatting and talking. Sweet smell was from Seepalika flowers. Each and every time when I come out we were talking to each other. Now the plant is flowering. Im feeling the same fragrance of Seepalika flowers but Im missing something inside me. Im missing you. We are not chatting anymore. Those flowers brought me the old memories. Remember how I told you that you are a Lotus to me? We have Nil Manel infront of the building in a pond. Remember how I sent a picture of one of those flowers and told you that It was you. You were a flower to me. Your fragrance the same sweetheart. I hope you are doing fine. Year will end soon. I miss you a lot. I love you. 

23rd September 2019

I think you are taking your usual ride to work while Im writing this message. I dont know whether the daily routine remains the same or changed. But I definitely know thesee things including our old routine will be in my mind forever. I remember those things frequently. Finally memory and some moments only remain with me. I have to keep them with me. I dont think that you will be able to wait and think or wait and remember our past. You are destined to forget me and the past. You are on your way to a better future without me. Well forget if you want. I will not force you to remember me. If you could forget me, I dont have obligations. Baba dont you remember better moments with me? Dont you ever had something good with me? I know you are throwing everything out which belongs to our past. Everything. I know that. I heard so. I know what hurt the most now (i know you went through the same thing. I dont ask excuses. I dont ask mercy. Throw all the things out. Throw the crappier person you have ever met out. Throw out everything belongs to the bitter past with me.) I dont have words. Go on.. you are doing it right. I feel terrible. Im in pain because of that too. I never hate you for doing that. Throw all the crap and the junk belongs to my past away then you will be remained in happiness. I wish your happiness. Do what makes you happy sweetheart. My pains have to be ended someday too. Dont even think about me much sweetheart. I deserve to suffer. I would welcome what ever the punishment comes to me. Im not good. Take care.

22 September 2019.

6.42am. Remember how I was doing exercises? Remember I went for jogging? May be you dont remember now. Its okay. Sweetheart I cant see you or hear you. And thats a great pain. Thats how it goes. Im in pain and this is love. You were in pain because you loved me. I have no words to express or explain the situation which Im going through at the moment. I just want you to know that I love you a lot. I hide my love from you always. I think I cant hide it anymore. Please dont misunderstand!. Im not trying to interfere in your life once more. No im not trying to do that. I will not come and let you to remember all the pains you had because of me. Im just writing here because I have no one to express my pain. I have no way to tell my story. Im totally a broken person Baba. My way of loving is the worst on earth. I miss you a lot. Remember the Sundays? Tale care sweetheart!.