2nd of December 2019

Here it goes sweetheart. Its the December. The most painful/pain filled month of the year. My eyes will remain wet throughout this month. For leaving the love behind/for kicking out the real love from my life. So let me suffer. I never intended any single word I said to you Baba. I told that I dont feel a love to you. I told that I dont have love anymore. I told every possible cruel thing to you. Im the only one who knows the enormous love reserved to you. I fell in love with you at once. I have the love to you always. I was just afraid to take you through a hell of pains. I was helpless within my self. I was to broken to be someone. I was too crappier and broken to be a good lover. Im a mess and I was a messed up person. Could you love me Baba? You loved the evil. You are an angel. In my broken soul I still love you though. Im writing this around 3.34pm. You probably went in to office after your evening tea/snack. I remember you a lot. Im in pain and im in love. Im stuck in my conscience.
I miss you.