Forever in pain

I think I have passed the line far beyond, because of that im not even a memory. I wish I could run toward you and hug you. I wish if I could hold your hand and take a long walk with you. I will miss you a lot Baba. You will not trust and I dont urge you to trust too, but I will remain heart broken forever. I know you went through the same pain. I still remember the parent's meetup you planned for us. You wanted to take it in a hotel with a lunch. I will keep these things forever in my head. Im forgotten but im easily keeping the memories about you. Those are the best memories. But I have to take the pain also. I deserve that pain. You are a person who loved a cruel person like me. I hurt you. I still remember you said crying "you are hurting me", My soul burned in fire that day. I stayed like I was a rock. Im sorry Baba. I will keep my love for you. Remember that, I always kept you inside me, I kept all memories of you inside me, and I kept all the love for you inside me. I miss you Baba. Im in pain. forever. Im doing few other charity today(today poya). And may that be a dedication to you and your family baba. May the good results of those deeds follow you. May you all live long. I wish you everything good Baba.Take care.