29th February 2020

Writing this in midnight. Saturday ends. I hope you remember the beautiful Saturdays we spent together. I wasn't searching opportunities Baba. I was looking for my love. You were my Angel. Even for today you are my Angel. I remember you a lot sweetheart. Im being forgotten. Remember someday I would be gone. But I promise that I will not forget you. I will wait somewhere. I will wait for you Baba. Someday try to love me. Im a difficult person. But I love you. If you count the people who love you except your parents I would be there too. There is no limit to my love.
I never intended to hurt you Baba. I loved you a lot. My love will remain. I miss you.

28th February 2020

Im writing this around midnight. I hope at least you would be closer to me in my dreams. Pain of love isnt so easy. But this is something I deserve I guess. I have no reason to blame you Baba. Only reason I have is love. Loving you keeps me functioning. I hope someday you would love me. I would be a good person Baba. This year is a long one. So there will be a February 29th. Otherwise it would be march 1st tomorrow. I hope you remember how heavier was my heart  when I left for my job in 2017. You tried to encourage me. I was clueless. I was helpless and I was too messed up. Still remember your words "you are going there to help peoples". Up to date I kept my word. Beyond this also the same. I helped many people. You are my inspiration. I miss you a lot Baba. I love you.

27th February 2020

Im a little late to write this because Im having issues with my mobile devices. I hope you are fine Baba. Time passes little by little. The clock is ticking and I know im being forgotten. Someday you will no longer have a memory about me. Having that feeling inside me make me nervous. Do I have any choice except accepting your decision? You suffered a lot because of me. I think now its my turn to suffer. I know this will not end. Soon ends February. Tomorrow is Friday. Remember how desperately I drove to see you? Will you love me someday Baba? I cant stop loving you. I dont want to stop loving. I cant help. Will you kick me out me from the most remote memories also? Will there be no space for the memories about me? I miss you a lot. 

26th February 2020

Im so sorry Baba. I broke my mobile. Yea the same one you used to capture lot of selfies. Remember you were a selfy specialist. I remember those days Baba. I didnt log in through my computer. Baba did you abandon building my web page? Did you delete it? May be yes. I wish I could have that one. I miss you a lot Baba. I remember you day and night. You come to my mind when I get up in the morning and when I go to sleep in the evening. Im in love with you. Now blame me or make a joke. But im the one who knows what I feel inside. Im so broke but yet able to love. If you really want make a joke, blame and insult me. I know I love you. My heart and head sing your name.
I miss you

25th February 2020

I remembered you a lot. Sweet times we had together are gone. Im miserable and emotionally lost in a desert. Few years ago the same place was a greenish forest nourished by love. Now im in pain. May be forever. One thing can make me happy and thats you. Doesn't matter where you are now but if you are happy then I will be happy.
Im a person who loved to see your smile. I was so happy when you had that little beautiful smile in your face. That smile made my day. I have to say I haven't stopped loving you Baba. I will continue. I will be in love with you forever. Someday try to love me again. You will find thousand reasons to leave me behind. Please dont leave. Stay with me. I hope you are fine Baba. This month soon ends.
Take care..

24th February 2020

Hope you are fine sweetheart. I was thinking why am I suffered this much. Also thought how I let you to suffer. I didnt do intentionally. But somewhere I did thought that I would torture you a lot and I never wanted to drag you through a hell. I always wanted you to be pain free.
I domt know what's the reason but I remember your mother also a lot. I always felt like she is one of my relatives too. Even for today I feel that way. I never wanted you to lose her. To take care of her a lot too. You have to think about her even more. Because you have started a new life. Parents will not tell you their problems now. Please keep in touch with them Baba. I know, your mother never liked me. Thats alright I like her and I love her (like my mother).
Hope all of you are fine. Im writing this a little late. Sorry for the delay.
Take care sweetheart.

23rd of February 2020

I hope you are fine little angel. Time passes. Its the sunday. Should I express the pain felt inside? Hope no. Sunday was the day of journey with heavy heart. How could I left you those evenings? Pain I had when the bus starts for the journey was enormous. How fights broke out in pain. Do you remember?. Weekend then ends. When I close my eyes I see your eyes and smile. Im lucky to have that At least. Because you are there. I see you this way at least. Something is better than nothing.
Sun sets. Day ends. Another day is gone. You will forget me soon. Environment and the circumstances will urge you to forget me. What should I do baba? I know, I kind of deserve this. Dont think this isnt painful. Every minute I spent without you was very hard and very troublesome. Doesnt matter sweetheart. I always wish and pray for your success.
Take care

22nd of February 2020

We have many memories in February sweetheart. We met for the first time in a February. I wish if those golden days never ended. Its better if the time had stuck in one of those memorable moments. Living in pain and in misery isnt easy. Thousands of times I wanted to scream your name and Say I love you (as I always do). I didnt do so. I dont want to hurt you anymore. Definitely I dont want to damage your privacy. I value a moment with you than a lifetime. I   could live a lifetime in a moment which I spent with you.
I loved you a lot Baba. And I haven't change my love yet. I will not be changed. I will be yours forever. And you are mine forever. Come and see me at least in my dreams Baba. Tell something and smile. Show me that smile again. I miss you a lot.
And the Saturday ends. I will count the days. I will never stop loving you. 

21st February 2020 2nd post

I hope you are fine Baba. Im going through an intense pain. Im not complaining though. Its okay Baba. I lost my mind in January 30th. I wish your luck. And I wish you everything but the best. And hope you are fine too. Started the long weekend. I wish I could hold your hand and walk. Talk and smile. I miss you. 

21st February 2020

What a perfect weekend. May be you are travelling somewhere. You have your better half now. I wish I could be the one. The one to be loved the most. A long weekend and this may be the wedding weekend. I dont know sweetheart Im just guessing. Anyway I felt everything up to now. So time beyond this will also be sensed by my heart. What we would have done in the weekend if we could meet. I remembered you a lot today. And definitely I saw you in my dreams last night. At least visit me in my dreams Baba. At least say "Hi" to me in my dreams. Sing once more like you did in the past. Show me that lucky smile. Say something in my dreams at least (Im in pain. I kmow I deserve this. But do you like to see me this way? This agony?). At least in dreams. I hope you are fine. Long weekend I think you have lots of plans. Stay safe Baba. Stay happy. Love you. 

20th. 2nd post

I remembered you a lot tonight. And all my memories are with me. I miss you a lot.

20th February 2020

Time will pass and you will take further steps to draw a line and say "dont cross the border/line". Im not going to violate your privacy by any mean. I have not only the love Baba but also the respect. I respect you a lot. And im deeply devoted to our love. I was so humble to receive love from you. Here after also also I will keep my love. Definitely I will keep my faith in you. Im writing this around 4.25pm. I know you came out from the work around 4.06pm. Unless you have been given a ride, you are yet travelling in a bus. Im writing this remembering all the light memories about you and our relationship. Remembered how we were trying to make a decent conversation in a noisy bus. I haven't forgotten anything. I miss you a lot. Hope you are fine. Tc

19th February 2020

February 19th came. I hope you had that annual party this time also. I wish I could attend holding your hand. I came to that party only to collect you home. I didnt like see you are spending a evening in a drunk crowd. Most annoying thing I met is the plan you took forward to stay in the party with your friends. I dont know to whom I blamed that night. I didnt care too. And even for today I dont give a crap about the girl who I blame that night. I dont wanted a negotiator. So she got what she deserved. Whole my concerns and thoughts were about you Baba. I hope you would understand someday. You will understand how deeply did I love you. (Even for today I love you deeply. Im kind of messed up and broken person but I love you yet). Its okay for sure you went there this time with your partner. I miss you a lot. Take care Baba

18th February 2020 (a memorable day)

18th February. No memories about 18th? Baba cant you remember? What 18th mean to us? Well thats a day with pain, love and joy (you were so mischievous too). Remember my love? Well you might forgotten already. Let me recall. Thats a time when you were ending an annual training programme conducted by foreign trainers. You said two weird guys came for the training (I think they are already doing the training this year too). Well cant you remember that party? You broke the promise to go home early. You didnt ask your mother and Uncle to come early and go home. Instead you tried remain in the party till midnight. Thats when I went mad and angry. I was angry because I loved you a lot Baba. So I came in a vehicle to collect you. You were an angel. You were so pretty in your pink color dress. Mom made it for you.( I was a little angry because it was a little short. Dont take it as an offense) And had a fight with your co workers also over the phone (because you wanted to remain in party and a coworker came to rationalise and deal with me. I blamed her). Only reason was love. Well today is the day. We met in a February 18th. Now you are far away from me. I miss you a lot Baba. Take care. I will love you forever. 

17th February 2020

I never wanted to lose you sweetheart. And I never intended to hurt you. What I was felt in our relationship is the necessity of deep love. I started to love you deeply. Thats how I went mad when I miss a single call from you. I know Im not privileged to claim my love. Thats okay. What can I say and fight when all the faults and mistakes are in my hands? Someday there will be a time when you have to proceed and forget every single memory about me. I think the days are already closer. I wish you good luck baba. You were such an adorable one. You were my sunshine. I couldn't help falling in love with you. I might be wrong. But no one ever said falling in love is wrong. How should have I prevent love? It came to me. I began to love you. I will continue to love you. I miss you a lot. 

16th February 2020 2nd post

Sweetheart I never wanted to see you in pain. If I saw you in I felt like my soul was burning. And your smile was my sunshine. I wanted to see your happiness. I wish everything but the best to you Baba. And tonight I miss you a lot. 

16th of February 2020

Yesterday was a saturday. I remembered how we were taking walks in numerous roads and parks. Evening walks at Water's Edge. I hope you remember (if forgotten also I will not be angry). I dont have a hate for you Baba. I hate my self for losing you. I hate my self for not holding you tightly. Now im a person who feels a loneliness even in a crowd. I feel the pain throughout the day. I compare the time were together and now. What a difference. Sometimes you were walking tand talking with your partner yesterday. I spent whole day thinking about you sweetheart. Miss you a lot. Don't say that I was wrong in loving you. I loved you a lot. I loved each and every moment which I spent with you. 

15th February 2020 (midnight)

Im writing this in the midnight because I miss you a lot. I know you are going away from me step by step. I will suffer till the end. I have many faults in my hands. But I dont think falling in love is a fault. Im so lucky to love you. Love you Baba

15th February 2020

Hope you are fine sweetheart. I cached a cold. Im so so lazy. Having a little temperature too. Hope you would forgive for placing a short letter here today. I miss you.

14th of February 2020

You will not remember me. You will not think about me. I know, it is because Im the painful past. Today is Valentine's day. I have to say this sweetheart. Though you forget me (may be angry with me too) I haven't forgotten you. Up to this day Im loving you. I can assure that I will love you further. Im planning some charity today. Because thats what I see meaningful this area where I work. So good thing/things will be done to remember our love. I will keep all our memories inside me. And I promise I will not stop loving you. You will be loved forever. You will be the sunshine of my life forever. I know the time passes. You have better reasons to forget me (especially today). You have better things to do other than thinking of me. I just wanted to say whatever happens, you will be loved forever. You will be my forever Valentine. Miss you sweetheart. 

13th February 2020 2nd post.

I have only the hope. And time is passing so quickly. Time is a machine. I was inspecting two trees. One is planted on your birthday. And the other is on mine. Im in pain. I was remembering many things. Many sweet memories about us. I miss you a lot. I feel the way you leaving me. I will not hate you sweet. Take care. 

13th February 2020.

So sweetheart you are ready to forget me?
Im counting the stars and midnight passed.
Love isn't a race but not a battle either,
But I hard fought till this moment.
Regrets are heavy and memories floded.
Living isnt easy. I know all my faults.
My eyes getting wet, view blurs and Im.....

Someday will you come again?
Forgive for all what I did.
Talk a word and ease all my pain.
Hold my hand again.

12th February 2020 3rd post

Writing this arpund 10.30pm. I think you are already sleeping. Baba I haven't sleep 3  hours continuously since that day. Its okay Baba. Im the wrong one and the one to be blamed. You had the right to move on. I  humbly accept my faults. Sweetheart. Im in pain because I love you? Why Baba? To love and stay in pain. Take care sweetheart. 

12th February 2020 2nd post.

I dont know how to tolerate this pain. Spent last few weeks in a total confusion. Endlessly thinking. Eyes were aching that much I was sleepless. And I got my headache back. What a time. Its okay Sweetheart. Dont you worry. I reserve this. I think I have to go through this. So I welcome everything. 

12th February 2020

I hope you are fine sweetheart. If you are happy and joyful thats my wish. If you are in trouble I will not just sit and watch. Im not privileged to see you. But if I see you or see both of you I wont hate. Agree I might felt so upset and sad but thats okay. Day and night thinking of you didnt make me tired. Thoughts and memories are endless. You might think that we were just an encounter. But I think its a bond between our souls. There is a reason always. I was so messed up. I was afraid and scared to drag you in pain baba. I was totally confused and disappointed about everything. I didnt want to leave you. I didnt plan to leave you. I loved you a lot (im in love each and every moment living this world). Im not asking forgiveness Baba. I will be someone who you can love esily. So I will not be this troublesome. Someday love me again Baba. That time please dont leave me. I wont leave you too.

11th February 2020

Probably you are in the bus when Im writing this. Or may be you are already given a ride. Im in pain Baba. You condemn me this much because I left you. Im sorry Baba. Yea, Im messed up. I was wrong. But! If I was a jerk then why am I pain? A total selfish, opportunistic and evil person would go through this pain? I doubt Baba. I think no. Im in pain because my heart loves you. Im in pain because im still yours. And whatever happened and whatever happens you are mine too. I dont want to forget you. You are the one. And you always will be. My eyes are wet sweetheart. I dont know why. Anyway I deserve the pains. That I know. If you remains happy, I would feel happy too. I loved your smile. I love you too. Its hard to live this way. Lets see. 

10th February 2020

I remember you a lot baba. Your first gift to me Shining on my table. Remember it was a beautiful crystal ball. All the precious memories are with me. And tonight I miss you a lot. I will not stop loving you. Tc

10th February 2020

What should I be felt inside sweetheart? Should I be happy or sad? Im dipped in sadness. I cant even think about a happiness. I can only think and wish your happiness. There is no much time left for you to remember me or just to keep a souvenir memory about me. I can understand that I dont deserve a comfort or a relief. Shouldn't feel the calmness in mind. Anyway Im in love with you. I loved you like I was crazy. Now also im loving you like im crazy. May be im punished for being in love. I have no way to express my feelings. Things get worse when I remember those memories. Number of times I cried and felt miserable will be kept a top secret. Number of times I wanted to see you and talk a word with you will be hidden inside me forever. I will keep loving you sweetheart. Take care. 

9th February 2020

9th of February. A sunday sweetheart! Assume what it could be if we were together? Definitely I will be walking in Colombo roads holding your hands. (May be we are married too) I will not waste a second which I could spend with you. I hope you remember the past also. I remember how hard it was to take the last bus in Sunday evening to my work place. Remembered how crappier did I feel to leave you at home. My heart was heavy in Sunday evenings. Well soon comes the Valentine's day. I know you will forget me. Those celebrations will make it easy to forget me. I know that lucky guy who took your hand will make you much happier that day. I think the wedding plans are also going on.
Stay happy sweetheart. I miss you a lot. I will miss you a lot. And Definitely I love you a lot. 

8th February 2020 2nd post

In the evening I did something very good. I remembered you. May the good results be on your side. May you be happy Baba. You are the one who asked to help people. I still follow your wishes. Hope you are fine. 

8th February 2020

What a weekend sweetheart. I wish if I could walk with you today. Like we did few years back. Im sure today you are travelling somewhere with your soul mate. Few years back it was you and I. How beautiful were those days. How beautiful were those mornings and evenings. How did I rushed to see you by bus. I came home after work in Saturdays and ran to see you. I wanted to hold your hand and walk with you. Wanted to love you deeply and passionately. Never wanted to waste a moment without you. Never wanted to be away from you. I cant even believe what went wrong.  Whatever the thing Im definitely responsible. I knew and felt the deep love you had. I was lucky and unlucky. Now I miss you a lot. I know today you are so busy. May be taking a walk. May be going for shopping. I wish your happiness Baba. Tell me that you are happy. Love you. 

7th February 2020 3rd post.

Im writing this around 4.15pm. May be you are on your way home. Or all the schedules changed already because of the newly started life. Whatever baba stay Happy. I miss you a lot here. I remembered how you were so ignorant sometimes. I dont hate for non of those incidents Baba. Remembered how a person from Australia chatted with you. And I went mad. I went mad and beyond because I loved you Baba. I love you now also. Someday try to love me. When I be a good person and come to you dont ignore me. Try to love me. I promise that I will not leave you too. I will love you more than any other day/time. Take care. 

7th of February 2020 (morning)

Good morning sweetheart. How are you? Am I wrong to fall in love woth you? Was I wrong to love you? Are there barriers to love? Were there barriers to love? I remembered how we were walking in independence square and Torington. I saw you in a dream last night. Sorry I cant remember though. Its not because you are unimportant but the dream wasn't remembered that time. I can hardly recall but you were there definitely. Please stay in my dreams forever. Stay with me forever. If possible love me too. I will keep loving you too. TTake care sweetheart. 

7th February 2020

Feels only the disappointment. What a strange place the world is. I remembered you a lot Baba. Im writing this around 2am in the morning. I miss you. Take care

6th February 2020 3rd post

What a sorrow Baba. Im in pain. Is loving a crime? I loved you, I love you and I tried to love you. Now im in pain and in misery. 

6th February 2020 2nd post

Soon you will come out for lunch. I remembered you a lot sweetheart. One plant which I brought here from home and planted. Now growing beside my room in my workplace. It was planted in a August. It was planted because I remembered you a lot that month. Because that month we went through many tense and joyful times. Noww its grown toward my window level. I feel like its looking at me through the window glass. Take care your self Baba. 

6th of February 2020

After our separation I felt many things baba. More than any other day I felt your absence in my life. More than any other time I felt lonely. I felt the lack of love in my life. And the pain I felt in my heart is excruciating. Now Im trying to convince my self that I deserve it this way. 

I remember you a lot Baba. Someday you will find that Im not here anymore. Im happy to have it that way. Time will pass. You will perceive me as a total stranger. Its okay. I will keep all my love to you anyway.  And i will stay devoted to you. Im too messed up to come forward even. But for these few years I never ever violate your privacy. Your privacy,dignity and the respect toward you were the only few reasons which kept me silent. Thats why I didnt call you or message you. Dont take my silence as an offense. I have lot of love inside me. But I dont want to hurt you anymore. Im a person who tried to see your smile always. I cant take the pain of your tears. 

I will miss you a lot baba

5th of February 2020 (3rd post I guess)

May be.
May be sweetheart.
You are always in my dreams, wishes and prayers.
Love you.

5th of February 2020 (2nd post)

A chain of memories. A chain of thoughts. All about you. You and I. I miss you a lot. I feel the way you leaving me little by little. Someday I will be No one to you. I should O bear this pain? Suffering throughout. I have love. May be thats why I am in pain. I like it that way. And I totally deserve this. 

5th February 2020

Im writing this around 1.pm baba. Hope you have had your lunch. I dont know sweetheart until when should I suffer. I dont want to abandon my love. I want to love you. I would welcome any pain to love you. I cant leave the loveo. I miss you a lot Baba. How many times do I remember you. Each and everyday im remembering our love. Soon you will abandon the last possible memory about me. How should tolerate this pain? Im in pain and im in love too.  

4th of Feb

I remembered you a lot Baba. Felt so upset. Felt like Im so unlucky. On the other hand im lucky to love you. I was lucky to receive your love. Im not talking offensive things Baba. Just I was so happy and complete with you. Good night. 

4th of February 2020. 3rd post.

This singer is one of my favourite singers. Recently I listened to this song Baba. Isnt this me about you? This is the way I feel Baba. I love you a lot. And loved you a lot.

Night has gone without my tears
Now I walk alone
You're no longer here
The days turn to years

I could never say goodbye
To the sadness in my eyes
You know you are in my heart
But the miles keep us apart

Time moves slow
In the falling rain
I still dream of you
And whisper your name
Will I see you once again?

I could never say goodbye
To the sadness in my eyes
You know you are in my heart
But the miles keep us apart

I could never say goodbye

4th of February 2020 2nd.

I know you hate me baba. I know you could love me too. I will be waiting. I will keep all my love Baba. I will be a good person. Give another try to love me. You will find thousands of reasons to leave me. Hope you would find reasons to stay too. I was too messed up. Try to love me once more. 

4th of February 2020

National day Sri Lanka. I wish if I could see you. Or I wish talk few words with you.  But I dont have that freedom. I dont have that privilege. Thats the National freedom day for me. What if we could take walk in colombo like we did in the past. February is such a refreshing month. Soon comes the Valentine's day. Its will be much easier to forget me. Someday you will be known that I loved you deeply throughout my lifetime. Im keeping my silence because I dont want to hurt, insult, harm your privacy and freedom. I never called you through unknown numbers and made you embarrassed. I never massaged you by any mean. Didnt text you through my number or other. I saw weak people doing so. I might be weak. I may be foolish. Anyway I never tried to hurt you. Check upon you undercover. Never spy on you. I just respect your privacy and comfort than anything else. Since we have separated I have went through enought stresses, pains and difficult times but I never interfered with your privacy. Dont consider that I forgot you. I cant see you are crying baba. I cant see you in pain. Im sorry Im too messed up to hold your hand and stay closer to you. Anyway I will not stop loving you. I miss you a lot. 

3rd of February 2020.

If im destined to stay in pain I have no choice. Above all if it's to be done behalf of you I will welcome any pain. Im in pain and dont forget sweetheart Im in love with you too. Time will pass. You will lose the memory about me. I will be forgotten. I will live till the end with my love and memories. I miss you a lot this evening. Tomorrow is February 4th. I remember how everything started in a February. We met in a February ( met in the internet even prior). February 18th-thats the day you went for a party in a colombo hotel. I dont hate for what you did Baba. Instead I love those memories. Well I wish I could have the February 14th with you. May be not this time. Take care Baba. I dont know how to proceed. 

3rd of February 2020

I know you dont have a mind to love me. I know you dont have an appetite to love me. Was I only a pain to you sweetheart? Was I only a crappy era in your life? Didn't you feel my love? Im in pain sweetheart.

3rd of February 2020

Im writing this around 4am. You got up around 5am. Sometimes I never slept when I got hurt. I stayed overnight till you wake-up. Today the same. I couldn't sleep Baba. Think about my situation. Be separate your self for a moment and dont consider me as a enemy/jerk/devil. Think why would I feel this way? If Im a jerk why im in pain? If Im a jerk and just used you, why would I feel upset? Why would I love you yet? I know you will make your mind. I remember sometimes you didn't even care me (no hate kept baba. I loved that character. I loved you by all means. I had thousands of reasons to love you.). Now im in continuous pain. Call me a jerk. But think about me too Baba. Why am I in pain? I feel pain because im in love. And I will not stop loving you. I miss you tonight a lot. Im sleepless. 

2nd of February

2nd of February

Baba Im in pain because I love you? So loving you is the fault? No. I fell in love at once. I love you. And dont want to be in pain. Dont tell that I didn't love you. No Baba Im a messed up person. But I loved you a lot. I tried everything to make you happy. Now I cant see you. Now I cant hear you. Is this a punishment? 

2nd of February 2020

In our love and my life im became so broken person. I did everything to love you. I might be wrong sometimes. Sweetheart didn't I love you? I had no plans to leave you Baba. Im this broken and there is no way to recover. There is no cure. I dont want to get well or feel well forgetting you. I just want to keep that sweet touch and love of you in my life. So you will be loved always. Time will pass Baba. I wish you Victories. I wish you good things. Wish my luck too. I dont know what comes next. Whatever it is I will accept. I didn many things to keep you in my mind. I still remember every simple information. I lived a lifetime loving you. You could love a difficult person like me. Thats why you have become an angel to me. I miss you. 

1st of February 2020

You will think that I dont love you. Im suffering because of love. Im happy to feel the pain. Im happy to love you. Would I feel this pain if I didnt love you?

1st of February 2020

Im the crappier person sweetheart. You were a good daughter, good fiance, good girl and a good companion always. That warmth you have given to me will never be forgotten. I will keep loving you further. Till the end of my life. And even beyond. Im yours sweetheart. I miss you always. Its a saturday. Memories a overflowing. I haven't seen you or hear your voice for two years. I know baba many new endeavours and joyful events ahead. You will be a good mother too. I wish your success. I will breath my last breath remembering you. I love you. And I loved you.